The Rushnyk Nobody Feared

The old cooper told me about a young couple who, after the wedding, finally made it to their own house. The lad, so nobody would bother them, hung a rushnyk on the latch. The rule being: if there's a rushnyk on the door, keep quiet in the entry hall, because the stove inside is being fired up not for bread, but so the newlyweds would be warm and wet. He shut the door, looked at his bride - and right then something scratches in the entry hall.

In comes the father-in-law. An empty sack in his hands, sly eyes. Says: I've come for the axe, tomorrow there's firewood to split, and you, son, have a sturdier handle today than any man around. The groom went red, mumbling something about being tired. And the father-in-law winked: son, don't chop all your wood at once, or the axe-head will drop off by morning. And don't shove the axe into anything wet, or the rust will eat it.

He left the sack and went off, coughing into his fist. The father-in-law had barely gone when the auntie comes knocking. Bringing sour cream and poppy seed. Says: eat, children, the night is long, and for the poppy to grind well you have to hold the pestle firmly and push it deep into the makitra.

The bride lowered her eyes at first, then gave the auntie such a look: thank you, auntie, but we have our own pestle - one so big I've already tipped the makitra over twice, and it still hasn't tired. The auntie snorted and fled. Half an hour later the healer woman scratches at the door. Holds out a bunch of herbs: this is for you, dear children, so your backs won't ache and the sweat won't pour, for I know how you'll be threshing each other tonight.

The groom clutched his head, but the bride calmly takes the herbs: granny, take them back. Tonight sleeplessness is on our schedule, and if we do fall asleep, it will only be from our own racket, because my husband promised not to stop until the rooster crows. The auntie snorted and fled. Half an hour later the healer woman scratches at the door.

Holds out a bunch of herbs: this is for you, dear children, so your backs won't ache and the sweat won't pour, for I know how you'll be threshing each other tonight. The groom clutched his head, but the bride calmly takes the herbs: granny, take them back. Tonight sleeplessness is on our schedule, and if we do fall asleep, it will only be from our own racket, because my husband promised not to stop until the rooster crows.