The Shift Between Them

How many people does it take to ruin a young couple's first wedding night? In our village, seven and Baba Paraska were enough. Orysia is twenty-two, Levko twenty-four, and after the wedding the relatives led them off to different corners of the yard. - Just for a minute, - her mother took Orysia into the house. - Two words, - said Kindrat, and led Levko to the barn. Orysia walked past with her mother, and Levko winked at her.

- Don't undress first, - her mother straightened the tie of Orysia's shift. - Yes first, or he'll tear it! - her aunt pulled it off over her head. - That's your man who tears. Mine folds it, - her sister handed the shift back. - And that's exactly why you keep saying it takes him half the night to get to you, - the neighbour woman took hold of the other sleeve.

Orysia clutched the hem: - Women, make up your minds already! A little more of this and I'll go to Levko with no shift at all. Baba Paraska elbowed them all aside. - The main thing! Don't lie there like a log. A log he can find in the barn. - No! Don't touch him first! - her mother spoke up. - If you don't touch him, you'll sit there till morning: you in your shift, and him with his rod out of work. Orysia had already opened her mouth, but the old woman raised a finger:

- If he's in too much of a hurry - squeeze the knees. - Whose knees? - You'll sort that out down there. Just mind you don't mix things up: squeeze the wrong thing, and he won't be in a hurry again till Pokrova. Her mother crossed herself. Paraska didn't bat an eye: - And pin up your hair. Mine once lay down on my braid - I screamed, and he's been bragging about it ever since.

In the barn, meanwhile, Kindrat slid a shot glass over to Levko. - For courage. - Don't drink, - his father-in-law took it away. - Say nice things to her. - Don't blather, - the kum set the glass back. - Put out the light, - advised the kum. - Leave it, - said the father-in-law. - Or you'll kiss the wrong spot. - I can find mine even in the dark! - That's because she snores!

Kindrat gripped Levko's shoulder: - The main thing is, don't worry. - I wasn't worried until you all called me in here. Only when it grew dark did the advisers finally disperse. The newlyweds were led into the house, and in the entry hall the mother whispered one more "not first". The door closed - and for the first time all day Orysia and Levko were alone together. The scent of elder drifted in from the garden. Levko blew out the candle and left only the little oil lamp.

- Maybe we could sit on the bed? - You sit, - Orysia remembered: not first. - No, you, - Levko remembered: give way to the woman. - Then I'll stand. - Me too. The bed was ready. The newlyweds almost were too, if not for the heap of advice and the alluring Baba Paraska in their heads. Levko decided to act - he took off a boot. Orysia pulled out a hairpin. He, the second boot. She, the second hairpin.

Then her hair fell onto her shoulder. Orysia glanced at her husband's unbuttoned collar and stopped hunting for the next hairpin. She wanted to touch his neck herself. Levko came over and laid his palm on her waist. At the warm touch she leaned in closer. Kissed him first. He breathed out against her cheek and held her tighter. And here's the trouble: at that very moment, her mother spoke up in her head.

Orysia pulled back: "don't show him how much you want it". - What? - Levko took his hand away. - I don't know. - Then who does know? - Paraska, probably. They both snorted with laughter and sat down side by side. Levko reached for her again, but now he checked after every move: - Everything all right? - All right. - You sure? - It was better before you started checking.

He leaned in hurriedly to kiss her. Too hurriedly. In Orysia's head Paraska hollered: squeeze the knees, you'll sort it out down there! Her hand went off into the dark to sort it out. Found something that was no knee - and squeezed it good and firm, like a proper mistress of the house. Mixed them up. Levko let out such a sound that the crickets in the garden fell silent, and in that silence someone quietly snickered. There was somebody outside the door.

- You alive? - Paraska couldn't hold back. - For now, - Levko forced out through his teeth. - Don't rush! - came from under the window. - Oh, how much longer! - the aunt spoke up behind the door. They were all here! Levko glanced at the bolt. Orysia put a finger to her lips and pointed at the headboard. Levko took hold of it. Orysia rocked the bed with her knee. It creaked. - Oh, Levko! Levko whispered: - And what comes next?

- I don't know, Paraska didn't say what comes next. He rocked harder. Orysia flung off the shift and knocked into the stool. Down it crashed. - Now that's more like it! - Paraska approved. Levko thumped his heel against the wall. Orysia buried her laughter in the pillow. - Just keep your legs up higher! - the old woman couldn't help herself. Orysia sat up. Levko let go of the headboard.

- Paraska, go home, - Levko shouted. - But I was only... - And take the ones outside with you, - added Orysia. Slippers shuffled away. Under the window Kindrat coughed and called for the kum. The newlyweds waited until the gate creaked. Levko picked up the shift and held it out to Orysia. - Will you put it on? - No, my dear. Let it lie there, - she set it aside and took him by the collar. - Maybe now we do it the way we want to? - High time. This time nobody pulled away.

- If it hadn't been for me, they'd have been taking that shift off till morning, - Baba Paraska boasted in the morning. Orysia took a sip of uzvar. - If it hadn't been for you, Paraska, we'd have taken it off even faster.